Updated
Four things make a presentation feel comfortable: real preparation instead of winging it, focusing on the audience rather than yourself, a clear outline so you always know where you are going, and asking the group in advance what would make the session worth their time. The worst of the nerves lasts about thirty to ninety seconds.
Everybody uses the same word
When I train groups, go into organizations, or work with someone one on one, there is one word people reach for when I ask what they want.
Nobody says I want to be more interesting. Nobody says I want better outcomes when I speak to people, or I want more sales. They say I want to feel more confident. Or I want to feel better. Or, most honestly, I do not want to feel terrible.
So that is what this is about. Not the theory. How to actually feel better.
1. Preparation, because winging it does not work
If we just wing it, we are not going to feel better. We are going to feel like we are all over the place, because we will be.
This is the least exciting item on the list and the largest. Almost everything people describe as nerves in the middle of a talk is really the feeling of not knowing what comes next.
2. Focus on them, not on this direction
If we are audience focused, meaning we are focused on helping them, we are not worrying about ourselves. The nerves are fed by self monitoring, and self monitoring needs attention to run on.
This is the fastest available lever, and it is covered in more depth in presentations are not about you.
3. A real outline, so you always know where you are going
Come up with a great outline and know where you are heading. That alone helps you feel better, because the low grade panic in most presentations is not knowing what the next thing is.
An outline is not a script. It is a map. You can be entirely conversational and still know, at every moment, what the next stop is. For the mechanics of building one, read how to outline a presentation.
4. Ask them what would make this great
This is the one people skip, and it is the one that changes the temperature of the room.
Ask the group, one on one or one to many, what would make this great for them. You can do it before a speech, before a meeting, before whatever it is.
Do it as people are walking in. I am the speaker, I will be speaking in a little while. What would make this speech perfect for you? They will give you insights you could not have guessed, and you have started a conversation instead of a performance.
You can also open the presentation itself by asking the audience questions. Tell them you are going to use their answers to customize what you cover.
And then actually do it. Customize the talk around what they said they need. That audience will love you for it, and you will feel better, because you are now talking with people rather than at them.
The part nobody tells you about timing
Here is the last piece, and it helps immediately.
That terrible feeling usually happens leading all the way up to the moment, and then only during the first thirty to ninety seconds of actually speaking. That is the window where all the attention is pointed back at yourself.
The worst of it has a shape and an end. Walk through ninety seconds and you are almost always fine.
And the thing that shortens even that window is the same thing that runs underneath every item on this list. The more you focus on helping people, on making it better for them, on giving them what they came for, the better you will feel.
Where to go next
If you want your people taken through this with recorded practice so they can see the difference rather than take my word for it, get a quick quote. To work on the opening minute specifically, read how to start a speech.